The Ten Best Orgasms in History

Feel free to describe your best ever orgasm here...

The First Orgasm
Deep in the lonely primordial oceans, around one and a half billion years BC, two of the first single-celled blobs known as eukaryotes obeyed the exhortations of nature and came together for a little intimacy, producing a brand new blob of their own.


The Pharoah-s Orgasm

For the pharaohs of ancient Egypt, t he most auspicious duty was the springtime occasion on which they were obliged to publicly masturbate into the Nile, so as to assure the fertility of the region for another year.


The President-s Orgasm

Whatever President Bill Clinton-s mercurial definition of ?sexual relations¬ may have been, it was given full physical expression on the front of an inexpensive blue evening dress owned by his young employee Monica Lewinsky. Lewinsky was so diligent an intern that she retained this evidence throughout the subsequent inquiry, which turned a private moment in the Oval Office into the most public orgasm .


The Shakespearian Orgasm

The poetic relationship between sex and death, advanced by the French during the Renaissance, was so well established in Shakespeare-s time that even the plebs in the cheap seats understood what Will was getting at when Cleopatra held an asp to her breast and screamed: ?Husband, I come!¬. Scholars have also devoted many hours to decoding Sonnet 129, the lust sonnet, in which Shakespeare describes the orgasm as ?the expense of spirit in the waste of shame¬.


The Female Orgasm

It-s been available, presumably, for as long as the male equivalent, but was first scientifically acknowledged in the work of Italian physician Mateo Renaldo Columbus in the 1550s. Mateo observed a ?hill-like¬ appendage, naming it the clitoris after the Greek word for little hill, and through experiments on his willing Spanish subject Ines de Torremolinos, noted that, through stimulation, this appendage would ?throb with brief contractions¬.


The Fake Female Orgasm

A common practice, although exactly how common remains a point of contention. During an argument over this very issue in the 1989 film When Harry Met Sally, the actress Meg Ryan, as Sally, feels compelled to loudly and publicly demonstrate how convincingly an inauthentic female orgasm may be performed.


The Cosmic Orgasm

In Scrapbook Of A Haight-Ashbury Pilgrim, her memoir of the San Francisco hippy scene in the 1960s, Elizabeth Gips recorded an orgasm she experienced on New Year-s Eve, 1966: ?An orgasm beyond orgasm that shakes loose streams of energy which become space, stars, planets, trees, bugs and people.¬


The Sub-space Orgasm

In 1999, the pornographic film studio Private produced a film called The Uranus Experiment, in which the actors worked aboard a flight on Nasa-s infamous Vomit Comet, a high-altitude aircraft designed to prepare astronauts for outer space. Thus was the world-s first zero-gravity ejaculation achieved.


The Porky-s Orgasm

In the 1981 American teenage sex-comedy Porky-s, the actress Kim Cattrall plays a cheerleader whose orgasmic intensity compels her to howl like a wolf and forms the basis of the film-s best remembered scene.


The Musical Orgasm

In 1969, legendary musical love-skunk Serge Gainsbourg duetted on Je T-aime with the English ingõnue Jane Birkin. The myth persists that Birkin-s live orgasmic vocals were captured by a tape recorder under Gainsbourg-s bed, though she has since confirmed the song was mixed in a studio at Marble Arch.


------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

What's the best orgasm? In my book, it's by far.............The Next One.