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  1. 04-01-2005 01:53 AM #1
    LMonty911's Avatar
    LMonty911
    LMonty911 is offline Deceased
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    Comments Thread for Some Days

    all help, suggestions, corrections and ideas would be appreciated.
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  2. 04-01-2005 03:38 AM #2
    Catshooter
    Catshooter is offline Contributing Member
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    Hey I like it! The only suggestion I have is - more of the same please!


    Cat
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  3. 04-01-2005 09:03 AM #3
    Laurane
    Laurane is offline Canadian Loonie
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    Evocative........

    "An unbalanced Earth shook her skin to smooth the wrinkles beneath"
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  4. 04-01-2005 09:17 AM #4
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    mbabulldog
    mbabulldog is offline Veteran Member
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    DAMN good start!!!

    waiting for more, ASAP, Please!
    Bulldog
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  5. 04-01-2005 10:23 AM #5
    LMonty911's Avatar
    LMonty911
    LMonty911 is offline Deceased
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    thanks, guys, you give me hope its worth continuing...

    Ive got chapter 8 fleshed out. Hopefully it will get done in the next couple of days.
    gotta warn you, i dont write as fast as our other members...I'm not quite that creative!
    this is the first time I've tried anything like this.

    I need to wait a few days, sometimes, for the characters to tell me whats happening next...
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  6. 04-01-2005 03:14 PM #6
    StevenB
    StevenB is offline Inactive
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    Slow is ok, as long as its not STOP!!! Great job so far! Please keep at it!

    And by 'fleshing out' Chapter 8, you mean chapters 8-30, right? RIGHT???

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  7. 04-01-2005 05:08 PM #7
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    LMonty911
    LMonty911 is offline Deceased
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    Thanks for the kind words and help, Steven!

    I have no idea how long its gonna end up....I've got some thoughts- I reallly tried to wait unitl I had finished more before posting it, but was afraid that without putting it out there, I might run away from it, and not have the nerve to post it at all. Now I'm committed. I gotta keep going! LOL

    I've got alittle twist in mind...not sure if its "kosher" to do it this late in the story, but what the heck...I may go with my alternate idea after all.

    Heather has been "talking to me" a lot more the last day or two than JJ has...
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  8. 04-01-2005 06:02 PM #8
    seraphima
    seraphima is offline Veteran Member
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    Excellent job! The survivors' denial and anger over the immediate situation are very realistic. Your portrayal of the main characters' slowly prepping and gradually seeing the situation over a number of years is also accurate. (We all keep growing.) How people are going to interact as TSHTF is one of the least discussed and hardest subjects to prep for -because we don't need each other as much as we will if things go bad.

    Interesting scenario, because there is not a lot of outside info. Sounds like a comet or maybe a supervolcano.

    Thank you for this really great beginning!
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  9. 04-01-2005 08:50 PM #9
    Jenncw
    Jenncw is offline Contributing Member
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    Keep going

    I'm delighted to have another story to read. I'm enjoying this one also. It is different in that they are very isolated and don't really know what is going on. I think it will be very interesting to see how they make do with what they have on hand at home, or with what's available in the town.
    You're doing a good job with the characters. Keep going, you're doing great!
    I know it must take a lot of courage to put that first story out there. I'm glad you did!
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  10. 04-02-2005 06:38 AM #10
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    CGTech
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    I'm starting to get addicted to all these stories by our talented members. Keep this up Laura, waiting for the next installement!

    1Pe 4:7 But the end of all things is at hand: be ye therefore of sound mind, and be sober unto prayer

    Joh 3:16 For God so loved the world that He gave His only-begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.
    Joh 3:17 For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but so that the world might be saved through Him.

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  11. 04-06-2005 01:44 AM #11
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    Brutus
    Brutus is offline Membership Revoked
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    Good stuff, Laura. Keep it up.

    Only complaint: The big spacing between paragraphs is kind of annoying.
    [i]Yes Virginia, the Russians are[/i] [b]STILL[/b] [i]the bad guys.[/i]

    [URL=http://www.jrnyquist.com]J.R. Nyquist[/URL] - [URL=http://thefinalphaseforum.invisionzone.com/index.php?showforum=3]TFP Forum[/URL]
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  12. 04-07-2005 05:39 PM #12
    gardenlily
    gardenlily is offline Contributing Member
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    You are doing a great job! I am patiently waiting for another chapter! Keep it up!!!!
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  13. 04-19-2005 11:25 AM #13
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    Brutus
    Brutus is offline Membership Revoked
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    We want more! We want more! We want more!



    Good stuff Laura.

    [i]Yes Virginia, the Russians are[/i] [b]STILL[/b] [i]the bad guys.[/i]

    [URL=http://www.jrnyquist.com]J.R. Nyquist[/URL] - [URL=http://thefinalphaseforum.invisionzone.com/index.php?showforum=3]TFP Forum[/URL]
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