Comments for The Carpenter Papers, Volume 1: The Approaching Storm

[Onebyone]

Just read the vol 1 and went looking for more of it. Very good story line so far.

Can't wait until you get to the meat of the "dark ages" survival. I love how things were done the old way.

One suggestion is don't get hung up on the description of the arms. It is important to say what they are carrying if they are but I have noticed some writers go into great details on the arms. I normally just skip over that. The interaction between people and the way of doing things that need to be done when society fails is much more interesting than FAQS on arms or such. You have balanced it well so far.

Another thing I have noticed in most stories along these lines is they are normally friends with the sherrif which is not likely in real life in most areas. Maybe you could kill the sherrif off and see how it would work with no law enforcement as your friend. Just a suggestion as you are writing a good story as it is written. I think when you finish you can most likely publish it.

[GREYGHOSTt]

May we have more please!!!

[The Freeholder]

Onebyone--
I agree to some extent on the gun thing, but I am a gunny, and I do love my toys. But 'ill try to not overdo it.

One thing I'm trying to do is take a page from James Weslye, Rawles book, Patriots. That was a whopping good read, but was also an excellent manual at the same time. For right now, Ive just enumerated the guns when it made sense. As I go further along, I may have some discussions on the various choices the characters have made, but it'll be within the context of the story.

In this case, it makes sense for these people to know the sheriff. Tom's grandfather is a retired judge; Walt a retired lawyer. In the real Davidson county, I knew the previous sheriff (not really well, but he knew who I was, and his kids stayed at my wife's daycare center) and have met the new one several times. It's a function of population, community involvement and your hobbies, at least in my case.

I'm kind of looking forward to dark ages survivalism as well. It'll definately give me a chance to brush up on history and do some thinking about how the lessons of history could be made to apply to a similar situation.

Greyghost, I'm working on it, and am about 2/3-3/4 through the rough draft of Chapter 6. We're in the throes of a big software implementation at work, and since I'm the boss, guess who's working the long hours. :-)

[The Freeholder]

Chapter 6 is up. Chapter 7 by New Year's if I get a little luck.

[Christian for Israel]

wow, pretty intense brother. i wonder how far ahead of the real world this really is...

[Jim in MO]

Just wanted to say Great Story!!! I'm really enjoying it.

[ofuzzy1]

Great work.

Looking forward to the next install-mint

[Deena in GA]

Great story so far! I'm really looking forward to more chapters.

As to being friends with your sheriff, I see nothing out of the ordinary with that. We've been friends with our sheriff for many years and our son currently works with the department. In rural counties I tend to think this is pretty common.

[The Freeholder]

OK, I'm a little late, but I plead too much time spent at work.

Editing may not be quite up to standard.

[Deena in GA]

Great job! Sure hope you get more time for writing so we don't have to wait so long. {As if you don't have a life, lol}

[murgatroid_98]

Excellent story! Your writing quality is right up there with T. Sherry and Alan.

[ofuzzy1]

Wow nice transitition to the next phase of fan loading!

We done thanks for you efforts!

[The Freeholder]

Chapter 8 is up; Chapter 9 started. I suspect that one will nearly write itself, so maybe I'll have it ready sooner.

[nancy98]

Thanks for the new chapter. Very good.

[ofuzzy1]

Nice well and written.

===
His doesn't know enough to make judgments.

Change to:

He doesn't know enough to make judgments."

[Claymore]

Well done thus far, and now opening up another interesting avenue. (An aside,our protaganist seems awfully well adjusted to be so smart.)

Keep up the good work.......soon

[Deena in GA]

Looking forward to more! Soon!

[GREYGHOSTt]

Don't ya think it's time for a nother installment?

[The Freeholder]

It is, and I was about halfway through before I got sick last Sunday--103+ fever. Not sure what it is, but it waylaid the entire family before it was through. I still feel like . We'll just have to see how things go.

[ofuzzy1]

Bummer on the bug, it really sucks.

The Wee ones are sick.

Hope you only have the cough one, not the yack version!

Feel better and take care of the family!

[The Freeholder]

Chapter 9 is up. Cheers.

[Christian for Israel]

great chapter!

wow! all heck broke loose, huh?

[The Freeholder]

Chapter 10 is up. Don't get used to this.

[Christian for Israel]

full scale martial law comming? good chapter bro, thanks.

[ofuzzy1]

Nice chapter. As CfI said

====
Kids are wonderful once theY get big enough to work."

[The Freeholder]

Crap. I think the edit window must have closed, but I've fixed the typo in my copy. Thanks for the catch.

[ofuzzy1]

F:

You're welcome.

I post these not to be a pia, but it sure helps when the text flows. Not that I type normally well. If I could even compose more than a few hundred coherent words, they'd be speeled wrung fo shur.

[The Freeholder]

Chapter 11 is up. I'll probably have another one shortly--I want this part of this story out of my head before it drives me to distraction.

Besides, December 16 has been a long day.

[ofuzzy1]

Nice tie ins and explainations.

==========

"Here, Daddy, your girl wants to fed again. I'll go get a bottle. How much?"

a dawn-to dusk curfew is ???not??? in effect. ---> ??now??

but it's one of the many things that allowac people to live together without friction.

[The Freeholder]

Thanks, gfuzzy. I fixed them all. That's what I get for being in too big a hurry to get it up so I can go on to the next chapter.

[Christian for Israel]

wow, that kid is something else. i hope he and tom can get close and he can loosen up a bit as well.

[Jim in MO]

I'm really enjoying the story. Easy to follow the characters are believable and the writing is great.

Keep up the good work.

[The Freeholder]

Chapter 12 is (finally) up. My spare time has sort of evaporated, plus I've had a heck of a time getting this to be what I wanted. It still isn't, but I'm going to stop agonizing over it.

[Christian for Israel]

thanks for the chapter bro. i think it's going just fine. one thing about writing, the story just seems to go where it wants. all we have to do is keep up.

that sarah was surely a Godsend, wasn't she?

[ofuzzy1]

Great writings

Now the theme is just not going where I like it.
We need the more good news. [hitting the snooze button and going back to sleep]
I want the power back on, and the water too.
The shelves can't be empty, noooo.....

Yup, Sarah was one heck of a Lady, even on her way out she did great. I suspect we'll constantly be reminded of how good of a Lady she was.

[murgatroid_98]

This is another very good teaching story. Thank you.

[The Freeholder]

Thank you all for the kind words, and I'm glad you're enjoying it. This is my first effort at novel-length fiction, so it's something of a learning process for me. I'm glad those of you I'm "learning on" are enjoying the experience so far.

[The Freeholder]

Lucky Chapter 13 is up.

[ofuzzy1]

F:

Nice work!

========
Without looking up, he said "No, we haven't. Turn it back one
Without looking up, he said "No, we haven't. Turn it back on

[Deena in GA]

This story just keeps getting better and better! Thanks! There was one word that I noticed needed changed....

He drove by and tried without success to see the markings on the vehicles, but they was too far away to make them out.

He drove by and tried without success to see the markings on the vehicles, but they were too far away to make them out.