kids a story comment thread

[antik]

I have been working on writing this new story. Should I continue or is it really to dull, what do you think should happen?

[223shootersc]

thanks for the good start

[PA Gene]

Nice start...please continue....

PA GENE

[kua]

A real unique point of view. Could do with more paragraph separations...your paragraphs are a bit long....but I like the start of the story. Would like to know who is telling the story. We know why the family is there but not who is telling it. It would be helpful to know what the world situation is that puts so many families in this difficult situation. Is the economy tanking? Why did that happen? I look forward to more of this story.

[Siskiyoumom]

It is great to see your story!

I agree with the paragraph breaks.

Can you give us a setting? What time period is this? Are the children documented as "orphaned" or abandoned? How is the management of the children going to happen? Are they going to be a part of the decision making for the running of the place. As a teacher I find that students "buy in" much better if they are part of the process of establishing the norms and rules of the classroom.

Look forward to more from you.

And no, your story is not dull.

[ejagno]

Looking forward to reading more but as stated before, you really need more paragraphs and a larger type would be terrific. Thank you for sharing your talent with us and I cannot wait to see this house a home to many.

[debralee]

Really enjoyed the beginning of your story and am waiting for more of it.
I do agree with the others about the paragraphs and a bit larger type.
Thanks for sharing your talent with us.

[antik]

Okay I got a background up, and another part, took me a while to figure out how to make the type larger. hopefully I have cut down on my chapter length enough, is this one better?

[debralee]

Much better. Thank you for the background info. Please continue, I really want to see what happens in this story. Thanks antik. Now then...I need more.

[Barb]

I am liking this. Thanks.

[kua]

Hey, you don't need to cut down on chapter length. We like to read as much as you can produce! Thanks for the background on the story. You set it just right. . And I do thank you for the shorter paragraphs . Makes it much easier for my old eyes to read! This story is very cleverly done and I am eager to read more

[sheilab15]

This is interesting and I would like to read more. I like the way you have this set up, it could go in many different ways. Good luck and please send more soon.

sheilab15

[RVM45]

Grand start so far.

Did you mean: "Jerry D Young"?

Or is there a Rodney D Young writing PAW Fiction that I'm not aware of?

Might be more good stuff!!!

.....RVM45

[sssarawolf]

Thank you very much

[SheWoff]

antik, I like this story! It's really good so far and I can't wait to read more of it Sounds like a really nice place for kids to grow up at.


She

[Deena in GA]

I moved the comments that were on the story thread over here to the comment thread and also changed Rodney D Young to Jerry D Young in the story.

Nice start, but I do like the larger print better.

[antik]

Thanks Deena. I am having fun writing this time. working on the next bit now.

[sssarawolf]

Thank you, I caught up; great story.

[hideout45]

Great story.Thanks for sharing.

[debralee]

This is going great. I love how it is coming from this teenaged girl. This farm sounds awesome. Now you have me wondering what's up with Obama in this story. Thanks again and need more soon.

[sssarawolf]

Thank you for the chapter this morning yippeee. Going to be a great teaching farm also.

[Bookwyrm]

Thanks for the new chapters. Looking forward to more.

[sheilab15]

Great story so far. One point though, girls like shooting too. And if some were abused they might want/need self defense abilities. Thanks a lot and keep going!

sheilab15

[antik]

as a women, I have been an avid shooter, and I agree, however since the parents are running the show so to speak, I am going slowly on introducing firearms to the younger kids, not a gender bias, so much but an age, as the boys in question are older than the girls, it promise it doesn't last.

[Bookwyrm]

Thanks for the new chapter and the nursery rhymes.

I like how you're keeping the tension up about the political atmosphere

[sssarawolf]

Sorry I commented in the wrong place.

[Dreamer]

Thanks for the new chapter, and especially the nursery rhymes! I had a hard time finding them when I was trying to find and remember them. The little one napping on me right now is going to benefit greatly!

[sssarawolf]

Wonderful 2 chapters, i got relish made and my work done and this was nice to sit down to. And I got so excited I again posted in the wrong place after the chapter, sorry.

[sssarawolf]

Thank you for the new chapter.

[sssarawolf]

Thank you for the chapter and so sorry to hear you had the flu, hope your much better.

[Vtshooter]

Thank you for the story! I like the concept, and the point of view of the story teller.

[KarenInKS]

Dear Antik:

Great story so far. Please continue it. You could go far with this story!