The last several days have been quite busy & for that, we're grateful. It has stayed fairly warm; just below freezing & with the sun becoming stronger, some of the snow is starting to melt off the roof & the windows are thawing. The warmth has it made it so much easier to get around outside & to do the farm chores. No longer do we have to bundle up to the point we can barely move.

The children have spent much of the day outdoors. They're all quite nervous & tense with Greg's death & its visible effects on his family. Sarah bless her, harnessed up four of her dogs & has taken the younger ones for rides around the property. The dogs needed the exercise & they needed the relief, the laughter & fun. Louise & Sarah helped them gather what eggs we had this morning & showed them something of how to care for the chicken coops. They'll learn to take on that chore with supervision initially then hopefully, on their own.

The foal has been out in the yard again, any number of times & is more curious than nervous now. The weather is much more suitable for babies of any sort & we're beginning to add to their numbers. A second mare had a filly early yesterday morning; VERY early yesterday morning. She's a pretty little thing, a ripe chestnut color with four black lower legs. She's much shyer than the first foal & it's good that the kids have a small bit of experience with that little colt. They understand it's important for little ones to have a quiet, calm start to life.

Drew has reminded the children to feel free to visit the foals, but to stay out of the stalls & fenced area; just to look & pet them gently; if the foals are inclined. Poor kids, they've been terribly inhibited by Greg's death & hardly dare breathe without permission. I hope with the warmer weather & more access to the yard, they'll eventually get swept away wiuth the playing they can do. I'd just as soon they play now while they can - work will be upon us all too soon.

Max & Sam as well as their children are still moving very half heartedly through their days. Of course they are; they've been devastated. All are trying their best to give them some space, some time to mourn. Annette is spending a great deal of time, with MT, making sure she eats, drinks & gets some little walks in, even if it's only in the house. I've asked her to keep an eye out on MT's medications; she's beginning to forget to take them on occasion. Lord, I hope she picks up soon. If we lose her, we lose our soul.

Maxine has simply been making meals & working in the kitchen. In between those jobs, she's spending a great deal of time with her children; especially the younger two. Sam is, as well; when he's not shoveling cow manure & bedding from near the barn to closer to the site for the kitchen garden. He's done nothing but that & see to the children - whatever it takes.

Andy & Jake have also been doing a tremendous amount of yard work, as have all the men, Mark & Alex. Drew wants to use some of the older, rotted manure as fertilizer and... dear, I've forgotten the term - that layer of material which covers the ground, keeps most weeds away & keeps moisture in. It will come to me. There's a tremendous amount of the stuff, certainly enough for the kitchen gardens & perhaps even one or more of the closer fields. So, they've been moving the stuff around, better get it closer now while it's easy enough to drag around & we have the time.

Drew has, in the evening, been working with Noreen & Jean, trying to determine what they'll plant in the kitchen gardens & how much land we'll need to plant there. Obviously, potatoes, carrots, onion, turnips; any crop we can do down in the fall; as well as salad vegetables - lettuce, radish, spring onions. Assuming we have, or can get the seeds; we'll try to plant at least some of everyone's favorites. The children will take care of some of it; each is being given his or her own small plot on which to learn. Any experimentation they wish to do they'll have to do on their "own" land - we can't afford to mess around with the main crops.

Drew has more than enough hay fields & will plant as much cattle corn as we can manage. It may come down to not bothering to plough much, simply hand planting seed, then interplanting squash, pumpkin, cucumbers & other such items. We'll hardly have the time for much weeding, so whatever we plant will have to make it on its own. Our energies will have to be concentrated on feeding people. We need other grains in fairly large quantity as well, wheat, barley, oats - Drew assures me he has a list of what's required & has more than enough seed.

We've got seed potatoes as well; Drew did have quite a few put by & we've put aside quite a bit of what was to be our eating potatoes. We have loads of rice, pasta, can make bread... we'll just appreciate potatoes all that much more when we harvest them again. And how I long for anything fresh, green & crispy - lettuce, cucumbers. We've become so spoiled these last 40 - 50 years. Such items as oranges, bananas & other more exotic fruits may be gone for quite some time.

Drew also explained to me how he resumes operations in the spring. With the wind he has here, the snow melts fairly quickly & this year, much should absorb into the soil. His soil is on the sandy side, which allows him to plant earlier than many other farmers. He used to be able to irrigate later in the summer when the soil dried, but isn't sure what we'll do this year. With the streams & ponds on the property, it will be a matter of moving the water from where it is to where we want it to be.

Once he can turn out the cattle for the summer, usually by early May, they simply need to be checked on every few days for problems & moved from pasture to pasture to allow grazing to replenish itself. There's some nasty work ahead with the male calves, but he told me not to worry about that - yet.

Most of our spring/summer/early fall work will involve caring for crops; planting keeping the sprouts as weed free as we can manage & dealing with kitchen garden items as they come in. The foals will only need a bit of work - they're too young for any real training & we'll free range the chickens, or at least some of them. If we let them all range free, I expect we'll lose an awful lot of those to foxes, cats & people...

Jake & Joe are concerned about others trying to "help themselves" to our animals & crops. We'll have neither the time or energy to properly guard everything, not full time. Sarah is working on that. She has a few dogs she thinks she can train to be guard dogs & she'll be rummaging through our extensive book collection to see if we might have anything that might help. I doubt it, but we're thinking of going back to town, using the dog teams, to pick up quite a few such items we think we'll need. If the main library has no books left, I expect the hgih school library might. Boy, do I miss the Internet. Anyhow, with dogs strategically positioned at night & liable to bark at anything unusual, we'll at least be able to sleep & they'll wake us up. The problem Sarah tells us, will be trying to train them so they don't bark at passing steers & other normal farm inhabitants.

I'd mentioned Mark & Sam had gone for a long walk a few nights ago. I didn't mention they returned with a surprise. I'd mentioned Mark is horse mad, but for riding & draft horses weren't quite his thing. In the fields near a few farms, in a sheltered draw, he & Sam stumbled upon a "herd" of 7 or 8 riding animals. They were able to lead home what Mark tells us is a quarterhorse mare with a week old foal at foot - ery emaciated but alive! They also brought 2 geldings back with the them; the other horses there were still too shy. Most of the horses were delighted to see people & using their belts, Sam & Mark led home the mare & a gelding. Two more followed, a gelding & a yearling colt. They're all very thin, but followed willingly enough. The rest were too weak or simply too shy.

Annette was certainly delighted & Mark was absolutely thrilled. We simply turned them loose in the paddock for the night, save for the mare & foal; a filly, Sarah tells me. They were placed in an empty box stall Drew & Annette had fixed up while they were immured in the barn. Sarah says they're starving, but should be just fine if they get good care. Between Mark & Annette, they'll be loved to death. Poor things.

Mark, Alex & Andy went out yesterday to some local farms, using one of Sarah's dog teams. They were able to find bridles & bits, reins, saddles & saddle blankets as well as extra hoof picks & other paraphernalia Mark says will be useful. It's far too soon to think of addling the horses. They need good food & rest, but the way they are with people, they've been ridden & treated well. Some personal transport will be very useful & Mark swears he can teach even an old fart like me to stay safe on a quiet horse! I'll leave it to Sarah & him to decide what horse is quiet.

There are two small, still fairly fat ponies left with the horses who wouldn't follow. Mark will go back, with Sarah this time & try to coax them to him. If they can catch them & bring them in, we'll even have some horses for the little ones. They can care for them - good responsability & learn to ride on something their size.

That means even more feed to be planted, grown & harvested, but no one is complaining - yet. The horses can 'live off the land' all summer anyway. The animals can be used to check fence lines, crops & cattle. They can be used for tasks a bit too light for the draft animals, thereby saving us the bother of harnessing those beasts & giving them somewhat more rest.

We have no calves yet. Drew says any time now & he & Sarah, with Joe & Annette's help, have been preparing what medications they might need. They've mountedd a few chainfalls - I don't want to know - are encouraging the women to cook up what beef we have already in the freezers. I think Drew is anticipating losing one or more animals & extra freezer room won't hurt. I won't complain. The women have been culling the older poultry & I'm tired or roast chicken, fried chicken, chicken stew & cold chicken plates.

I spent about half an hour, early this morning, by Greg's grave site. The earth is still exposed & looks so raw & dirty. I won't mind seeing some fresh snow, something soft & clean to blanket the grave. It's hard to see as it is. Call me... whatever you want, but I stood out there & "spoke" to him for a time, telling him we were missing him very much but that we were carrying on. I told him about how Sammy is carefully watching Timmy to help him out, keep him out of trouble & to help him learn new things. He was trying to teach him to add yesterday, telling him he needed to learn so he could count the chickens & eggs. It was so sweet. I cried; I did. I cried again telling Greg about it. I'm not sure it helped me much. My heart felt no lighter when I left, but I still felt I was doing something needful; for me, for Greg... I don't know. But what harm can it do?

Young Jared has taken to following me around, very silently. He's barely spoken a word since he joined us but oh, does he WATCH. Something pretty horrendous must have happened to him for he startles at the slightest sound or unexpected sight. Noreen tells me he spends a lot of time sitting in the loft of the cattle barn. He can get up there from outside quite safely & Noreen says he simply sits & looks at the cattle. He doesn't try to get down IN the barn or anything, just sits & watches. Noreen let him know she knew he was there & she didn't mind - as long as he didn't try to get down with the cattle. She offered, when he wished to acompany him if he wanted to get close to a cow. He shook his head no, but maybe we have another budding herdsman on our hands. I'll have to make sure Joe is aware of Jared's apparent interest & see if he can develop some kind of relationship with him.

In the meantime, Jared is almost always behind me; whether I'm walking, looking for a snack or trying to use the outhouse! Initially, he turned away when I noticed him, but doesn't bother to do so anymore. He's still not really responding, but I'm assuming he has some interest in what I'm doing. When I think of it I talk "at him", telling him what I'm doing or preparing to do & some of what I'm thinking. Soon, I'll ask him to "help" me with minor tasks he's capable of doing. I wish I knew his story, but we've yet to resume our evening "story times". We're exhausted, both physically & emotionally by dark fall & we'll need a few more days before we feel like listening to the others.

Morgan is proving to be a real boon. Having spent years in construction & most of the last ten years in plumbing, he's trying to think up ways to run water to the fields & perhaps find easy ways to pipe or pump water to the house. He's already fixed a few windows that seemed permanently sticky & is trying to figure a ducting system that will let some of the heat from the wood stoves & fireplaces travel more freely around the house.

We'd be happy if he could figure a way to water the cattles without the backbreaking work that currently involves. You don't want to know how much water they go through, but we seem to carry over 150 buckets of the danged stuff to the barn daily. Can't do it all at once either, without it freezing so we do it morning & night.

Speaking of night, it is that & I'd best get to bed. Sarah is bunking down in the loft of the cattle barn tonight, along with Annette, in case some of the cows decide to deliver in the wee, small hours. If there's any action, Sarah will send Annette to wake Noreen & possibly Anne. I'd prefer if Anne is permitted to sleep as best she can & as long as possible. I'm convinced she thinks she might have some way prevented Greg's death & it will be some time before she convinces herself otherwise - if ever. Sleep is a great healer.

So, I'll check the barn one last time, then head for our bed.